i dont know

Back to school and the pressure of the future and figuring yourself out and how you gonna make yourself proud and your parents proud is mounting. The pressure to succeed becomes so hyped up that the process becomes so irrelevant and you just want to get to a point where you have enough puzzle pieces to piece together something resembling the picture on the box.

At the moment education seems like the gate-way of choice for so many of us because it has proven to be so fruitful for so many other people. but of course in today's world it takes more than a degree to get a job- to earn you're steak. The nature of the game has changed, somewhat, and no sooner after the graduation applause dies down is the player expected to leave the bench and enter the field of play.

Ive never been enthralled by the future's enigma because it carries with it so many high hopes and in the same breath so much disappointment. "Tis come to a point where the idea of growth and adulthood with all its seriousness and responsibility is no longer a surreal concept . Transitioning from being a snot faced kid to being a fully fledged and functioning adult member of society, is exciting but daunting.

I'm actually typing this in the middle of a packed 3rd year graphic design class and i cant help but wonder how many of us are actually going to make it- considering the employment stats for university graduates with little to no work experience. I reckon most of these kids have already made it because of their parents success and the contacts they are gonna inherit from that. but for some of us hope and luck are the only thing we can hold on to because a good CV and portfolio will only get you in the room it doesn't guarantee that you will actually stay in the building. That unknown variable is so exhausting never mind depressing.

P.S:I'm not self defeating on the contrary my self esteem is pretty intact and my self fulfilling prophecies are on the up and up. I'm actually marginally happy with life and am in a good position as appose to most of  my peers. I'm in a  'it could be worse' state of mind. vaguely grateful for everything I have and the opportunities i have been afforded. but that doesn't help to sooth the sinking questions I have floating in my head : will i be one of the ones that make it. have i made the right decisions, have I taken advantage of all the opportunities, have I made the right connections, should I have done better at that, can I do better-or is this it, what is the meaning of life...

I don't know...