dreams of big pictures

dreaming of the bigger picture, she says struggling to find the puzzle piece that fits. dreaming of the bigger picture, she says as she pays R2.50 for the six numbers on her lotter ticket. dreaming of the big picture, she whispers under her breath as she takes the last pull on her lose coutleigh draw. dreaming of the big picture, she affirms to herself in the mirror as she scrapes the inside of her mascara tube. dreaming of the big picture, she tells herself as she stands in wait for the next bus ride to school. dreaming of the big picture, she thinks to herself as she participates in yet another meaningless conversation about the weather. dreaming of the big picture, she types and backspaces as she tries to draw another seemingly well thought out conclusion on yet another essays that bares no real relation to her reality. dreaming of the big picture, she states with a retired calm as she presses the enter button and sends her CV to some stranger on the another end who might hold the key to some economic freedom of sorts. dreaming of the big picture, she tells herself as she begrudgingly asks a parent, yet again, to spare a few pennies to pay the pied Piper. dreaming of the big picture, she reminds herself as she sits drunkenly in another public toilet in a failed attempt to escape the eminent reality of sadness that awaits her when the high draws to a screeching end. dreaming of the big picture, she says as she struggles to remember what that big picture looks like. dreaming of the big picture, she nods to herself as she talks in hyperbole to a childhood friend about what it is she is doing now. dreaming of the big picture, she re-iterates to herself as she watches her peers go on to succeed gracefully without any hesitation. dreaming of the big picture she says as she reads yet another forgettable status update that is suppose to conjure up some short lived earning for life and religious aspirations. dreaming of the big picture she thinks to herself as she listens, barely, to another rant from a qualified lecture on whatever topic they reckon will get her one step closer to being a qualified entity as well. dreaming of the big picture she says as she fakes yet another laugh to some gate-keeper whose only joy in life comes from feeling some manufactured power over others. dreaming of the bigger picture she says to herself as she tries to articulate to herslef in co-herent sentences what that bigger picture resembles.

dreaming of the big picture as i settle in to do and say what i need to in order to get closer to that tipping point where dreams metamorphosize into reality.