a lengthy ass something

In search of drunken happiness to bypass the sober sadness of daily living. mundane chores created to keep the mind steady forgetting that something inside it's vessel is gradually being drained. Devoid of any passion the symbol of a crying baby that cannot be pacified. And all I could was cry in silence- deep seated tears with no kin or accomplice. Therein lay loneliness with its proud demeanor and devilish torture chamber grin.

Apathy and lethargic reactions propelling me to and fro towards my depressions abyss. Darkness knows no friends fear governs this hallow shell. I'm deep!! I'm rooted!! I'm trying too hard...who the fuck am I fooling...I'm broken and I am disabled by blindness to even begin the search for the missing pieces. Time keeps passing me taking no notice of the this traveler. I'm gonna die on this road that leads nowhere hitchhiking for phantom cars. like who really wants to pick up someone with all this baggage. I laugh with myself (whoever that is) but we amuse each other from time to time because we both know that to survive we have to lean on each other so we bury the hatchet, temporarily. We rely on each to keep the jokes coming to numb the gashing wounds of painstaking loneliness, shame, sadness, hate, love,living,NO,fatigue, rejection,poverty,powerlessness. Zombies do exist in my lifetime look at my reflections that are empty and transient... Travelers soon realize that to reach their destination they had to pick a moment any moment and cross over.

Choosing life is choosing death like any two sided coin that we use to buy into tomorrows promises. Sorrow eats at you and you believe its sweet nothings that fill the cracked crevices where salty bloodied springs lye. We drink to keep reality imprisoned overnight. He inhibits thought .. So.my joy and play is exaggerated and amplified to commemorate childish grandeur but its' laughter is choked in rhythmic spasms of silence at the eminence of fading smiles that become yesterday. Happiness is a she that visits inmates from time to time. She is an elusive wild bore who cannot be tamed and if tamed will eventually turn on its master. Ask my battle scares because...they know!