20 and going thru a middle life crisis would be nice if I was actually debating ferrari prices

whats the point really? I ask this because I see my dad like every other hunter gatherer dad out there working 9-5 24/7 for a non existent salary and ask I myself whats the point?? if you hardly spend time with your family and the money you do make amounts to peanuts. Maybe its just my naive youthfulness talking but I don't want to be like my dad and look back at my life and see that I haven't lived out my moments but I have rather allowed the economic gods to dictate my life.

what's the point really?? I ask this because I wake up everyday with the same burning desire to live in my dreams rather then partake in the mundane groundhog day existence that I have subjected myself to. Riding in the bus last evening I realised that I have grown tired of looking outside the window at the same fucking boring view- if I see another second hand car dealership I swear I'm going to scream.....literally !!

Whats the point really?? I ask this because I spent 12 years being indoctrinated and I ,because I want to be someones employee, have subjected myself to 3 more years of further indoctrination worth R20 000 pa. I doubt this is my calling but hey I do need to be employed so screw my passion there are future groceries that need to bought and tax to be payed. Come to think of it I do have to give my mum her dream kitchen and replace all those glasses I broke.

whats the point really? I ask this because although my parents are the perfect model of love, marriage and commitment I wonder sometimes if that ish actually exist....I have the Thomas complex so I "gotta see it to believe" so I can't lean too much on faith because reality is king.So for me love is as fictional as mills & boom its just procreation and convenience. Then again I might be wrong- I hope I am.

I fear that I may have read to much into Paulo Coelhoe's the alchemist and saw myself as Santiago the Shepard who went all the way to Egypt to find his treasure only to find that the treasure was always with him.....corn straight off the cob....but it does make you wonder...

.............this life thing is gonna be the death of me!